let’s talk about boys

24 Sep

so that same friday night why I was so frustrated was for two reasons: long day, full or failures and basically travelling all over brooklyn. the second one was.. let’s call him melvin.

so I accompany M to one of her errands only to find out the appointment cancelled two days ago without any notices AND, she wanted to go all the way to the end of south brooklyn to ask why.

I already had my issue with her the previous day and then she started working my nerves up with her ungratefulness and attitude. the ironic thing is, she says I have a bad attitude and mouth. compared to me, she’s not a saint nor angel either. see, the thing with us is that we don’t say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ much. but the appreciation is still there. recently she got herself in her own funk and shit and wants to take it out on other people. I’m not having it. I’m not a sucker and nor am I a dupe. I don’t let people take things out of me. go get a punching bag if you want to work out your frustrations and issues. I am neither a dupe or punching bag.

okay, so after knowing that, she wanted me to call and ask why… ETC. but her logic and reasoning to horrible to sum it up.

sighs, so off we went to coney island to get to the bottom of this…

after spending god knows how many hours there, we’re done and things seem to be fixed. we spent the whole day out. I was out from 11AM ish to 8:40PM ish. after a long day out, all I wanted to do was relax, shower, and be alone in my thoughts.

but NOOOOOOOOOOOO I get a surprise unwelcome, unexpected visitor. IN MY BUILDING, FLOOR, and ROOM.

obviously I was not pleased or up for this.

he excuse was that it was a moon festival holiday and his mom told him to bring “us” some mooncake. the mooncake wasn’t for me. (it was for my mom) and I don’t even know the significant or anything about this holiday.

it was.. an ambush you guys.

CLEARLY he didn’t accept or liked my decision to break up. and, he wanted to confront me. (see, I don’t mind confrontations and can deal with them, as long as EYE had decided to do the confronting, not be the confrontee).

I also couldn’t say much or argue with him because I didn’t want to hurt his feelings and I was tired. so I just laid there like a sack of retarded and let him say all those things to me.

he wanted to know why and the real reason I ended things with him. clearly he wasn’t pleased by my text break up. he also wasn’t pleased with my decision and reason. I laughed at this and told him that’s on him. he also wanted closure from me.

ummm closure is up to that person to find. not up to the other person to help achieve it. I can’t give him closure because I’m not the person for that. and it’s up to him to get over it.

so, I was frustrated to come home to this bombardment, this ambush and crap from him after a long day. he also goes to throw in my face all the ‘things he’s done for me’. I’m not a person to ever say this too. because for one, I hate people throwing things in my face and I hate the logic behind it for anyone to use it. if you do a nice thing, it’s because you wanted to do it. if you buy someone a gift or give them anything, that’s because you want to. NOT for accolades (finally learned how to spell this) and appraisal. every guys I have met or dealt with so far does not get this common sense and logic.

apparently melvin amongst other males expect something from giving people things, much less material items. my love and anything can’t be bought. it has to be earned or a mutual feeling.

melvin thought because he bought lots of stuff that I’d feel the same way about him or like me the equal amount. or, that we will never break up, etc. but sorry, that’s not the case. it’s the fact that you buy TOO much and do too much was what pushed me away. it was too much, too suffocating, and too clingy for my taste.

ultimately, we weren’t going to work out. I wasn’t attracted to him and he wasn’t man enough for me. (in fact, when he did that bitchy thing and throw stuff in my face, that did it for me to not even be friends with him. btw, I say bitchy for the lack of better terms but I’ve never met female who actually do those things).

he also didn’t have any confidence, and constantly tries to get a compliment off me, or get me to fill his lack of anything to conceitedness. so not very attractive.

so our conversation went a little like this: a whole bunch of self pity (from him, or himself), some throw in my face things and situations, a whole buncha doubt in himself, his worthy and already non existent confidence, and, trying to attack my character and logic/reasoning. I wasn’t into the last part. I told him to LEAVE as soon as I walked away from him into my room and noticed he followed. then invited himself to sit down and get in my face to “talk about it”. not happening buddy. he didn’t get the memo that I was clearly not pleased with him or his visit and the fact that I wanted him to leave. this went on for about some minutes before I threatened him to leave or I will leave. my own MF room, and building to get away from him. (around this time the sun was setting. I knew  this because I’m like crap, it’s dark and I gotta go out into the wild to get some peace and quiet). he finally said he was going to leave. but obviously he didn’t give up because he continued to spew nonsense out of his mouth and didn’t budge. I think he got 5 mins worth of talking, or I gave him 5 more minutes before I couldn’t take this and was seriously about to leave. then he left my room and started to say bye to everyone.

he kept saying bye to everyone for another half an hour and still didn’t leave. but at least he stopped talking to me and left my room. I went into the bathroom and showered to calm myself down and find peace. I come out of the shower to find he was still here.

by then, I had locked myself in my room just in case.

ugh, I think I’m going to end this here because I am getting tired and cold blogging.

I also don’t want to think or talk about this anymore. it’s annoying me now.

I hope that now that I got some things off my chest, I can sleep better and actually REM sleep tonight. sighs.

or I’m hoping I get really tired and fatigued later to do a crash nap.

(crosses fingers).


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