29 Dec

Okay. So I feel like I should get this all out before the new year comes. You know, the craze and traditions of the new year eves.. Mind set.

So a month ago my boss’ husband sexual harassed me. When I spoke up about it, it created a whole thing with the store and the workers. It was sorta a family business so as a result, there was tension from the ‘big brother’ and ‘brother in law’ and the loyal co workers to the boss against me. Like, if I can place a percentage against how much they all believed me, it would probably be 1/3 or less than 1/3%. If this makes sense.
Back to the story. It happened on November 8, a Friday. In the evening. I told the male coworkers after it happened and my only female co worker a little later. At first, I didn’t think much about it. And didn’t know how to react. Without going into much detail, the situation happened three times. All times, I told him to stop. He didn’t. Before I spoke up, his two male co workers that I told, didn’t care and wasn’t surprised to find out that something like that happened. They basically implied that men were pigs and it’s typical.
But one of them said he’d watch out for me and “protect me”. I wasn’t so reassured. But after it happened, I went back to the other store (the company had two stores), and I was pissed. Because I’m an independent and prideful person. The fact that something like this happened to me angered me and it bruised my ego. Because how and why did I let this happened to me three times and not put more effort to stop it.

These were the feelings then. I know longer feel or think that way. Because after that night, I went home (mind you, it had trouble sleeping so I did a lot of thinking). Saturday was my day off. So I didn’t work the following day. I woke up with the decision, I was going to quit. I even told my father about this. He wasn’t thrilled to hear that I was quitting. I told no one of what happened besides two friends and co workers. I told him I wasn’t quitting because of typical and previous complaints about the boss. It was a serious reason and I didn’t tell him because I know as a father, he wouldn’t be pleased.
So my thought process went like this while trying to sleep:
-I already hate the boss; she’s a bitch
-I obviously hated the retail job, the duties, customers and position
-the people there tell me to do things unrelated to the company and service
-The pay was SLIGHTLY higher than minimum wage. But the hours were long and the job takes a lot
-elaborating more, customers disrespect me everyday
-I get hit on by everyone. All the Chinese co workers and the people who hang out in the straight.

But of courses the reasons named above were constant and happened everyday since I started working in October. But I told myself from the beginning that I was not a quitter and will prevail regardless of these annoyances because I am strong.
But ultimately my reason to quit wasn’t for any of the reasons in the the list but because I didn’t want something like this to happen again. The sexual harassment part. He was the husband of the bitch boss. He was around. And can catch me off guard at any moments and there were blind spots in the basements on the store (the basement was where the incident happened).
So, I told myself, I hated the job anyways and now, this shit happened, so what’s left for me to stay? I didn’t care for any of the co workers and they all ended up betraying me in the end anyways. Plus, I just didn’t want to see her husband again and I didn’t want to talk to him or have him talk to me.
So, I was like, when I go in on Sunday, I will tell/text the boss that I was quitting.

Instead of blabbing and writing more than I want to. I will get into the gist.

At first, no one believed me. And everyone was skeptical. But later on in the day, everyone ultimately and was reluctant to admit,I was telling the truth. Because I had no reason to lie. And the same thing happened to my fellow female co worker. Minus the kiss thing.

On Sundays, besides getting calls from the boss, I also got a call from her husband. He reluctant gave me a HALF ASSED apology, which sounded forced and fake. And he also tried to convince on the phone that he was joking and then went on to ask me to lie. He wanted me to call his wife and tell her I was lying, as well as to speak for him and fix the situation. I was disgusted. To choose a simple and short description of how I really felt that day.

Sighs. This blog is turning longer than I intend to.

I intended that Sunday to be my last day. But the big brother played with my sympathy and kinda begged me to stay for a couple more days. Until they find someone. And he said that he would promise me that something like this wouldn’t happen again. (Mind you, I was crying at this time. Practically sobbing but trying to compose myself for the sake of everything). He told me to stay and that he will personally pay me the deposit money if the boss doesn’t give it to me. I said okay. Only because I wanted to say goodbye to the only make co worker who was humbly nice and helpful to me since day one. He was Mexican. (Disappointedly, he betrayed me in the end too. Or at least I felt he did).
Come Monday, this thing broke out in a huge fiasco. Boss came in with signs of crying. Brother in law, I felt the tension from him. And I got comments from the other coworker, Bill, that I shouldn’t have said anything becuase now I messed up the marriage.

Seeing as how I didn’t like the boss, I didn’t really cared what happened. Her husband touched me and I’m the victim not her. Though. I just didn’t play the victim card publicly anyways. My female co worker kept making comments that she felt bad for her. Her husband didn’t show his face. But he didn’t come that day and the days leading up the Friday the 8th.

Fuck. Practically half of this was deleted and didn’t save. Fml

To cut this short. Because I didn’t even want to relieve this memory.

The Thursday, a week after the incident. I was accused by the boss bitch that I lied about everything. And she implied that I deserved it because I was allegedly smiling and laughing. In the surveillance camera she conveniently found to turn against me. To anyone that’s not dull and simple minded, you’d know I don’t need to convince anyone if my innocent nor who the victim actually is.

What stung about all this and what I never got over was that accusation. As a woman to another woman, I’ve never been so disrespected in my life than that. To say I deserved it and lied. Means obviously she’s not a human being. To say the least. And people like her and her husband, will get their fete desserts by karma and god. The other part that stung besides her implying I deserved everything was I fabricated everything because I was jealous of my female worker because she treats her better. This pissed me off the most and threw me over the edge. Not only was I questioned, interrogated, yelled at and bullied but my character was called into question.

I couldn’t believe anyone would say that to another person. To say they deserved sexual harassment because I didn’t call the cops right awayn (i did end up calling the cops about this on that same day but they didn’t care. They came and made it seem like I was the bad person there just because I didn’t report the situation right away.)
To say, I was lying because I stayed there to finish the task I was told to do (stupid of me because her husband stayed there too). I stayed there to finish my assignment but also because something like never happened to me. What was I supposedly to do? I was scared at first to even say no because he’s the boss’s husband and my job would be on the line. (I was doing the victim and helpful thoughts in my head at that time, I was enlightened the next day. The day after.

I really don’t want to get too deep about this because I don’t want to think too much about this anymore no just wanted to write it out because I never admitted to myself how much it hurt to have my character attacked and figuratively slapped in the face by saying I deserved all this and that I lied because if didn’t like the boss and was jealous of that co worker. The fact I didn’t like her was obvious but I’m not that pathetic and petty to fabricate anything. Because all this called me for the past two moths was turmoil and depressing feelings. I wrote this because I felt like I had to say this out loud to find that closure I need to give myself. I need to get over this and be okay.

And I’m hoping after this post, I will be. And I should be. Because i am strong.

As much as these thoughts and that situation like to creep in my head every one and then, I will do my best to block it.

A different kind of blocking because before this post, I could not admit my hurt from this. I did not admit my sorrows and occasional thinking about this.

But everything is out there not. Including this post.

And hopefully this will enable me to move on and forgive and forget. Not necessarily forgive the people who scumbaged and betrayed me. But forgive them for acting on what they believed. Even if it’s wrong and not right.

God may not believe in righting things that’s wrong but karma may.

I never blamed myself for what happened but I will not be hindered by the people who blamed me for something and the situation.

With this, I will now go shower and move on.


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