Aside

Work

29 Dec

Okay. So I feel like I should get this all out before the new year comes. You know, the craze and traditions of the new year eves.. Mind set.

So a month ago my boss’ husband sexual harassed me. When I spoke up about it, it created a whole thing with the store and the workers. It was sorta a family business so as a result, there was tension from the ‘big brother’ and ‘brother in law’ and the loyal co workers to the boss against me. Like, if I can place a percentage against how much they all believed me, it would probably be 1/3 or less than 1/3%. If this makes sense.
Back to the story. It happened on November 8, a Friday. In the evening. I told the male coworkers after it happened and my only female co worker a little later. At first, I didn’t think much about it. And didn’t know how to react. Without going into much detail, the situation happened three times. All times, I told him to stop. He didn’t. Before I spoke up, his two male co workers that I told, didn’t care and wasn’t surprised to find out that something like that happened. They basically implied that men were pigs and it’s typical.
But one of them said he’d watch out for me and “protect me”. I wasn’t so reassured. But after it happened, I went back to the other store (the company had two stores), and I was pissed. Because I’m an independent and prideful person. The fact that something like this happened to me angered me and it bruised my ego. Because how and why did I let this happened to me three times and not put more effort to stop it.

These were the feelings then. I know longer feel or think that way. Because after that night, I went home (mind you, it had trouble sleeping so I did a lot of thinking). Saturday was my day off. So I didn’t work the following day. I woke up with the decision, I was going to quit. I even told my father about this. He wasn’t thrilled to hear that I was quitting. I told no one of what happened besides two friends and co workers. I told him I wasn’t quitting because of typical and previous complaints about the boss. It was a serious reason and I didn’t tell him because I know as a father, he wouldn’t be pleased.
So my thought process went like this while trying to sleep:
-I already hate the boss; she’s a bitch
-I obviously hated the retail job, the duties, customers and position
-the people there tell me to do things unrelated to the company and service
-The pay was SLIGHTLY higher than minimum wage. But the hours were long and the job takes a lot
-elaborating more, customers disrespect me everyday
-I get hit on by everyone. All the Chinese co workers and the people who hang out in the straight.

But of courses the reasons named above were constant and happened everyday since I started working in October. But I told myself from the beginning that I was not a quitter and will prevail regardless of these annoyances because I am strong.
But ultimately my reason to quit wasn’t for any of the reasons in the the list but because I didn’t want something like this to happen again. The sexual harassment part. He was the husband of the bitch boss. He was around. And can catch me off guard at any moments and there were blind spots in the basements on the store (the basement was where the incident happened).
So, I told myself, I hated the job anyways and now, this shit happened, so what’s left for me to stay? I didn’t care for any of the co workers and they all ended up betraying me in the end anyways. Plus, I just didn’t want to see her husband again and I didn’t want to talk to him or have him talk to me.
So, I was like, when I go in on Sunday, I will tell/text the boss that I was quitting.

Instead of blabbing and writing more than I want to. I will get into the gist.

At first, no one believed me. And everyone was skeptical. But later on in the day, everyone ultimately and was reluctant to admit,I was telling the truth. Because I had no reason to lie. And the same thing happened to my fellow female co worker. Minus the kiss thing.

On Sundays, besides getting calls from the boss, I also got a call from her husband. He reluctant gave me a HALF ASSED apology, which sounded forced and fake. And he also tried to convince on the phone that he was joking and then went on to ask me to lie. He wanted me to call his wife and tell her I was lying, as well as to speak for him and fix the situation. I was disgusted. To choose a simple and short description of how I really felt that day.

Sighs. This blog is turning longer than I intend to.

I intended that Sunday to be my last day. But the big brother played with my sympathy and kinda begged me to stay for a couple more days. Until they find someone. And he said that he would promise me that something like this wouldn’t happen again. (Mind you, I was crying at this time. Practically sobbing but trying to compose myself for the sake of everything). He told me to stay and that he will personally pay me the deposit money if the boss doesn’t give it to me. I said okay. Only because I wanted to say goodbye to the only make co worker who was humbly nice and helpful to me since day one. He was Mexican. (Disappointedly, he betrayed me in the end too. Or at least I felt he did).
Come Monday, this thing broke out in a huge fiasco. Boss came in with signs of crying. Brother in law, I felt the tension from him. And I got comments from the other coworker, Bill, that I shouldn’t have said anything becuase now I messed up the marriage.

Seeing as how I didn’t like the boss, I didn’t really cared what happened. Her husband touched me and I’m the victim not her. Though. I just didn’t play the victim card publicly anyways. My female co worker kept making comments that she felt bad for her. Her husband didn’t show his face. But he didn’t come that day and the days leading up the Friday the 8th.

Fuck. Practically half of this was deleted and didn’t save. Fml

To cut this short. Because I didn’t even want to relieve this memory.

The Thursday, a week after the incident. I was accused by the boss bitch that I lied about everything. And she implied that I deserved it because I was allegedly smiling and laughing. In the surveillance camera she conveniently found to turn against me. To anyone that’s not dull and simple minded, you’d know I don’t need to convince anyone if my innocent nor who the victim actually is.

What stung about all this and what I never got over was that accusation. As a woman to another woman, I’ve never been so disrespected in my life than that. To say I deserved it and lied. Means obviously she’s not a human being. To say the least. And people like her and her husband, will get their fete desserts by karma and god. The other part that stung besides her implying I deserved everything was I fabricated everything because I was jealous of my female worker because she treats her better. This pissed me off the most and threw me over the edge. Not only was I questioned, interrogated, yelled at and bullied but my character was called into question.

I couldn’t believe anyone would say that to another person. To say they deserved sexual harassment because I didn’t call the cops right awayn (i did end up calling the cops about this on that same day but they didn’t care. They came and made it seem like I was the bad person there just because I didn’t report the situation right away.)
To say, I was lying because I stayed there to finish the task I was told to do (stupid of me because her husband stayed there too). I stayed there to finish my assignment but also because something like never happened to me. What was I supposedly to do? I was scared at first to even say no because he’s the boss’s husband and my job would be on the line. (I was doing the victim and helpful thoughts in my head at that time, I was enlightened the next day. The day after.

I really don’t want to get too deep about this because I don’t want to think too much about this anymore no just wanted to write it out because I never admitted to myself how much it hurt to have my character attacked and figuratively slapped in the face by saying I deserved all this and that I lied because if didn’t like the boss and was jealous of that co worker. The fact I didn’t like her was obvious but I’m not that pathetic and petty to fabricate anything. Because all this called me for the past two moths was turmoil and depressing feelings. I wrote this because I felt like I had to say this out loud to find that closure I need to give myself. I need to get over this and be okay.

And I’m hoping after this post, I will be. And I should be. Because i am strong.

As much as these thoughts and that situation like to creep in my head every one and then, I will do my best to block it.

A different kind of blocking because before this post, I could not admit my hurt from this. I did not admit my sorrows and occasional thinking about this.

But everything is out there not. Including this post.

And hopefully this will enable me to move on and forgive and forget. Not necessarily forgive the people who scumbaged and betrayed me. But forgive them for acting on what they believed. Even if it’s wrong and not right.

God may not believe in righting things that’s wrong but karma may.

I never blamed myself for what happened but I will not be hindered by the people who blamed me for something and the situation.

With this, I will now go shower and move on.

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Aside

Fresh on the boat.. Hahah

20 Dec

I had this dream that my whole family and I were going to china. But we were taking a boat there and not a plane. Lol

It was five of us. And my older sister and I were traveling one ship, together later on while my mom and other two sisters went on an earlier ship. The thing is, my mom somehow thought it’d be a couple of hours travel and of course rushes and mess things up. I remember the three of time had to board at 4. But they weren’t ready and packed yet. (We were in a station harbor dock thing). So they’re not done packing, FYI ready to board while the time is creeping closer to 4 o’clock. Then my older sister somehow thought she was supposed to board with them. And they num rushed to board. Because somehow their watches weren’t synchronized with the boarding time. (I guess some kind of automatic time change or Day light saving times thing). So they all rushed to board. And did, I think. Meanwhile my boarding time is 5 ish. Of course, I’m all ready and set. Since I’m not a last minute person. But then the watching was wearing went from 4 ish o clock to 2:15pm. So I found this marine security guard guy and questioned him. But he wasn’t sure as well. So we ended up walking around trying to find his check in area with his other buddies to inquiry.

And this is what I remember or stopped remembering from there. But I though I’d blog it so I wouldn’t forget later on.
I’m also supposed to look up some reoccurring dream stuff but of course I forgot. So hopefully I remember or notice a pattern, later on and do some researching.

~Landry

Aside

Colombian cutie

14 Dec

So I had a dream. And I will try to summarize my dream in a nutshell of how I remember it and what I remember from it.
Spoke to “Liz”. And she said I should apply to grad school because that’s how one is suppose to do it to get a decent job. Or career. And then came my reasons. Which is not important for this dream recap sake.
Then naturally I run into some people. And met a guy. He happened to be attracted to me and via Versa.
Anyways I woke up taking a liking to me. But maybe too much. As it is a dream. But naturally. Any cuties in my dream who I happen to be with, I take a liking to lmao.

So reality. Tonight at this promo. I meet a cute guy. He was Colombian. My only regret is that I didn’t recall or pay attention to his last name. So I could have Facebook stalker him. (Yes, pathetic). But I didn’t think his flirting meant he was that interested. Or, it’s just his nature. I usually meet people at places I’m not already to really friend or, take a liking too. As in personal liking lol. Most of the time, it’s work and/or professional settings where it can’t happen.
So he was a bit eager. I was nonchalant about it. I ended up giving him my number. A first. Or first time it happened to be a cute guy. He was cute, charming and charismatic.
My only Dislikes are that he drinks and smokes.. Cigs for sure. And who knows what else.
bUT! Given the fact that he’s from Colombia and might not be here for long, I shouldn’t worry about that. Maybe just delve on hacking a good time and meeting someone new.

This is me all thinking positively and being hopeful I’ll see him again. You know, hopeful, he’ll ask me to hang out one day lol.
I’m actually curious about his story.

We’ll see. And now I should go to bed blissful and hopeful that I’ll dream of a cutie or a familiar one again haha.

Okay, so it’s not like I haven’t met or seen cute guys before. My point of even writing this blog is, this Colombian cutie resembles the cutie in my dream so much! at least that’s why my brain is hinting at. So of course I find that intriguing.

All though rambles aside, goodnight world ๐Ÿ™‚

Aside

My new purchase

9 Dec

Eck! I’m so thrilled and full of energy today!! Went to the doctors today to get some meds and then went shopping with my momma in soho after. She persuaded me to cancel my dentist appointment for this shopping excursion lol

I went to the apple today and bought myself the iPad mini nรบmero dos! It was and will be a butt load of money once I gotta pay the bills (or my mom). But I’m content. I got the silver 64gb one. I also just paid for two case via eBay. And one is said to come later this week! ๐Ÿ™‚

I think I spent about $1000 today but I’m not regretting it one bit.

iPad cost $652 (with tax)
Aerie ($26)
eBay ($23)

Oh. Haha I just did the math and it’s actually $711.

Okay. I’m going to cut my first post via the mini short so I can go play around with this a but before bed. ^___^

Aside

because I liked…

5 Oct

because I liked the end results of my failed hair dying excursion, I just had to dye my hair again the next day. It gave me a chocolate, warm color that I super duper loved!!! and went to sleep trying to plan out how to dye my hair. haha
I’ll blog about my mini quest. I went to a total of two salons today before I found one in my budget. went to one that is across the street from my school and the lady gave me a side glance before she told me it’s $80 to dye my whole head. like wtf? my great aunt who came here a in 98′, did a perm and dyed her bob ish hair length and it only costs $60 which I thought was reasonable since it’s a perm.
I know times have changed and prices are not recession proof but I KNOW a dye job would not and should not cost more than $60 because hair dye they use, still comes from a box and the stuff inside, they sell in it stores for about $10 each (and at most for each bottles; I’m talking the dye, developer, extra shine/boost/serum, and conditioner). AND, since my hair is asian hair, any dye job will result in an orange=y look after some weeks if you dye your hair some kind of brown/blond. OF COURSE, there’s exception and sometimes people have awesome hair, and they do follow up treatments and consistency use some kind of conditioner and whatever.
so yeah, I will not spend and should not spend about $100 for a dye job when my hair is medium length. and I could do the whole thing manually with a $12-13 ( at most) hair dying box kit. It would take a shorter amount of time too. of course, I’d need help and it might get messy.

so yeah, 2nd salon I checked out. the lady told me it cost $35 to dye my whole head. bingo! then I asked her how much it’d cost to dye half. then I’m guessing her boss or superior walked out and they started speaking in spanish in front of me. I caught the gist of it; basically she told the fist lady that $35 for the whole head is too inexpensive and that she should have told me more. she then proceeded to tell me that two dye jobs would be $45 but if I want to dye the bottom half and back of my head, or the whole head, it’d costs $35 each. I kinda gave her the look and asked her to make both dye jobs $40 ๐Ÿ˜€
she didn’t say yes, but she asked me the colors I want and then gave me a book to look through.
so fast forward a little. as she put dye on my head and through my hair, I noticed my scalp burning a bit because my head felt hot.

story got cut off here as I was typing because I went to do a 5000 piece puzzle with my sissy.

so after sitting there for like 40 minute (twice the time amount the box allocates for). knowing my hair color, I would have left it for 40 mins too.

after 30 mins, the lady came back to me to check on the hair and then blow dry it. because heat helps the color absorb into the hair (if this makes sense) and it speeds up the process too. when she checked and rubbed off some color, it wasn’t to my liking so she put more chemical into the back of my head lol.

anywhoos, I really like how it came out. I don’t think the color is even. meaning, the roots on the top of my head are lighter than the strands then I noticed that when she was supposed to dye the base of my head, it looked like she kinda just blotched my hair. lol if that makes sense.but there are some heavy streaks more on the righter side of the back on my head. and, it’s not the blond that I wanted it to be but some kinda copper brown. which is cool because blond with my overall hair color would look tacky I think. plus, it’s some subtle surprise if someone ever looks through my hair. hehes

ย 

WELL. I’m about to end this after this comment. so I’ve been home since 3ish pm, mom came home around5 ish pm and DID NOT NOTICE MY HAIR COLOR CHANGE AT ALL! now, if you have not caught on, my natural hair color is black. and this color is a light bronze, copper mix. lol
now, we have spoken to each other since she came home. but I don’t know if it’s because she did see it and didn’t care to comment on it or the fact that she didn’t notice or looked at all.

it makes me kind of nervous and jittery when she does “find out” because she’s probably going to be a bit dramatic… but oh wells.

I won’t be home tomorrow so it might take a few days.

I would love to use this post pictures feature but I’m not really into giving the internet a visual or personality other than what I write. (or as of yet anyways).

oh yeah, I paid the lady $40 + $1 because that’s all I really had in my wallet!! lmao I know, it’s so sad but when I did the price haggling I was pretty sure I had a ten or a five. but when it was time to pay, I’m like this is so awkward. But! I always say, tip is a courtesy not a requirement. so boop! too bad. lol there was nothing I could have done. since it doesn’t take cards I noticed.

anywhooos ta-ta. =)

Aside

a quick rant

1 Oct

you know what I hate? well I’ll tell you.

I hate when I say “thank you” to someone for something and they knowingly decide to NOT say “you’re welcome” back! or those people you interact with that say “mmhmm”. like wth is that? you don’t know how to say “you’re welcome” ???
it’s like that person think he or she is too good to acknowledge this and respond appropriately back. are you too good for those 2 little words?
I always say you’re welcome back to someone. because I have manners. I’m not sitting on a high horse. (or at least notyet! =P haha)

but yeah, that’s another slight pet peeve from mine. a typical scenario of this is between email exchanges. when I correspond with people in my school with thanks or thank you and NEVER do I receive a you’re welcome back! the couple of times I do receive it back is from my friend who knows better.

I mean I shouldn’t get worked up from this because I’m not surprised the gist that people today just do not have manners and much self respect for themselves. it’s like when people take and ask without saying thank you. surprised? not really. I’m slowly becoming immune ๐Ÿ˜

it’s sad.